Christmas Day + Saying Goodbye To 2020...

I want to wish everyone who reads this the happiest Christmas. 2020 has been a year like no other
and as it comes to an end, I want to reflect. 

This year has been filled with many ups and downs, goodbyes and tests of my strength. I have lost people, met new people and also felt alone. But while it has been a very difficult year, not just for me, but for so many, I can honestly say it has opened my eyes to many things and it has taught me a lot. The most important being that nothing is ever certain and we should appreciate what we already have and who is around us. From the moment lockdown was announced and I had to stay inside for weeks, I struggled to find any happiness in my life. Every day I would wake up and struggle to even get out of bed as I felt I had nothing to look forward to, so the internal bully in my mind became louder and stronger. I felt I had hit rock bottom as during those months I was the lowest I had been in a while. Whilst my mental health was suffering, I unfortunately was tested positive for coronavirus. I suffer with my asthma so it was a massive worry. It did take a toll on my physical and mental health as it was such a worrying and shocking time but I am so grateful that I am alive. Looking back, I don't know how I picked myself up and how I am writing this today as at the time I didn't have any hope and I just gave up trying to be strong. One day I hope to talk about it in more detail and about what happened but I am not ready yet. All I know is that the person I am today is so different from the one at the beginning of the year. No that doesn't take away the fact that I still get low and yes I still suffer from my mental health problems, but I picked myself up, I went to university and moved into accommodation, and I am becoming stronger every day, and for the first time in my life, I am proud of myself. 

So to each and every one of you reading this, you did your absolute best and although it may not seem it, you have come out so much stronger. When you look back in years to come, you will look at 2020 and you will be proud of what you accomplished as we have all been tested in the most difficult way. We are in this together and we have all had to endure so much pain in this extremely tough and strange year. I send all my love and best wishes, especially to those who are in Tier 4. Hug your loved ones tight around the Christmas tree, cherish every second and make it the most special Christmas yet, you can do it. 

So please, take care of your mind, your heart and I hope you have the most wonderful Christmas, we all deserve happiness after everything that has happened.

With love, 


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