Reflection on May..and the Spice Girls.

Darlings,
The only way I can describe May as is a roller coaster, full of ups and downs. I started off the week at the hospital after suffering with severe chest pains and numbness down my right arm, so intense and scary that I got checked out. I am very thankful that it was nothing serious and there is a possibility that it was an anxiety attack but with new and severe symptoms, different to what I usually have. It drained me, panicked me and that's why the fact it could have been due to my anxiety didn't even cross my mind. The end of the week I was at a Spice Girls concert on my own with my closest friend and I am still shocked with myself. How everything can change in just a couple of days when you actually put a little belief in yourself and don't let your mental health overrule you is maddening and beyond me. However it was extremely weird to feel so carefree and not have the shakiness in my legs and the pounding of my heart that endures me daily because I took control for once and I want that to last forever, I know it was only one day but it was the happiest few hours that I have felt in the longest time. My mental health conditions and bullies took away everything from me including my happiness and my self belief which I blame for the reasoning of my guiltiness for being truly happy and thinking of myself for once, the strangest feeling.
I just want to take a moment to say to myself and everyone who is reading this that no matter what happens in life, no matter who tries to cross you negatively, never let anymore people take away my happiness because I and everyone else deserves to be happy and experience the feeling I felt on that night. Your time and day will come when the weight will be lifted off your shoulders and it doesn't matter how long it lasts, the importance is that it is happening. I'm still learning to allow myself to feel happy and not be so self critical on myself but for now, I achieved something which I can reflect on as a motivator and for once anxiety didn't take over. The thing that got me through was myself, through self talk and self reassurance. I kept saying You will be okay to myself the night before over and over and over again until I started to slowly believe it. Don't get me wrong it was terrifying the thought but when I got there and the nerves calmed down and I started to feel more relaxed as the night went on, it was prove that you can do anything and that anxiety and the overthinking is so much more scary and causes more worry than actually being there.
"Don't let the fear of what could happen make nothing happen"

If you have any questions, ideas on what you want me to write about, or even just a chat my dm's are always open or you can email at aimeebryanxoxo@gmail.com
My Instagram is @_aimeedarling_ and my Facebook page is https://www.facebook.com/aimeedarlingx
♥

Lovely words Aimee, so proud of you xx😘😘💖💖
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