5 Years Post Op ♡

♡ 24/6/15 ♡

On this day 5 whole years ago I underwent a major 10 hour spinal surgery to correct my 85 degree curve. 24 screws and 2 titanium rods were placed into my back to fuse the vertebrae and 6 ribs  

were removed. Recovery was not easy, it was tough and extremely painful. My life is so different now and I will be forever thankful to my surgeons, the doctors and nurses who helped me learn how to walk again and adjust to a new way of living. 5 years on I still experience pain every day and I will do for the rest of my life but I know my limitations now and although I had to give up my dream of becoming a dancer, I count my blessings.

No one tells you how much this takes a toll mentally and the psychological effects of scoliosis. My spine will never be like those who don’t have scoliosis, I will always have my curve but I embrace that. It used to take over my life and although I will always be self conscious of my uneven shoulders, hips and how my back looks overall as it isn’t deemed as “normal”, I am still so proud to look into the mirror and see a scar that tells a story of a 13 year old who went through so much and is still standing today at 18. It’s taking a lot of my strength but I’m still fighting.

 

- Aimee x

Audrey Hepburn’s 91st Birthday..

“𝑨𝒔 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝒈𝒓𝒐𝒘 𝒐𝒍𝒅𝒆𝒓, 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝒘𝒊𝒍𝒍 𝒅𝒊𝒔𝒄𝒐𝒗𝒆𝒓 𝒕𝒉𝒂𝒕 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝒉𝒂𝒗𝒆 𝒕𝒘𝒐 𝒉𝒂𝒏𝒅𝒔, 𝒐𝒏𝒆 𝒇𝒐𝒓 𝒉𝒆𝒍𝒑𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒚𝒐𝒖𝒓𝒔𝒆𝒍𝒇, 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒐𝒕𝒉𝒆𝒓 𝒇𝒐𝒓 𝒉𝒆𝒍𝒑𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒐𝒕𝒉𝒆𝒓𝒔”⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣

On this day in 1929, the beautiful Audrey Hepburn was born in Belgium. A talented performer, actress, humanitarian and philanthropist. Audrey spent part of her youth in England at a boarding school. During much of World War II, she studied at the Arnhem Conservatory in the Netherlands. After the Nazis invaded the country, Hepburn and her mother struggled to survive. She reportedly helped the resistance movement by delivering messages, according to The New York Times. After the war, Hepburn continued to pursue an interest in dance. She studied ballet in Amsterdam and then later on in London. In 1948, Hepburn made her stage debut as a chorus girl in the musical ‘High Button Shoes’ in London. She also played a chorus girl in ‘Sauce Tartare’ but was moved to a featured player in Sauce Piquante (1950). At the age of 22, Hepburn went to New York to star in the Broadway Production of Gigi. Two years later, she starred in the film Roman Holiday with Gregory Peck which she was then awarded with an Oscar. Her film Sabrina was another award-worthy performance in which she earned an Academy Award nomination. In Breakfast at Tiffany’s, my favourite film in the world, Hepburn starred as Holly Golightly and received her fourth Academy Award nomination for her work. (Personally, I think she should have won as the film was a work of art!)

Later in her life, Audrey took a step back from acting and proceeded to become a goodwill ambassador for UNICEF in the late 1980’s. She travelled the world in order to raise awareness for children in need due to her terrible time during the World War II and this made her understand what it was like to go hungry from her days in the Netherlands during the German occupation. She made more than 50 trips visiting UNICEF in Asia, Africa, Central and South America. Due to her amazing work, she won a very deserving and special Academy Award for her humanitarian work in 1993 but very sadly was unable to receive it as she passed away in her home in Switzerland after a battle with cancer.

Her work continues to help children all around the world. Her sons, Sean and Luca, along with her companion Robert Wolders, established the Audrey Hepburn Memorial Fund at UNICEF to continue Hepburn’s humanitarian work in 1994. It is now known as the Audrey Hepburn Society at the US Fund for UNICEF.

I wanted to write this post as a way of remembering Audrey Hepburn on her heavenly 91st birthday. A woman who inspires me every day and who will always be the embodiment of beauty, elegance and kindness who empowers so many women to this day. A face of true beauty and grace. Her work is something I will admire forever and continues to be a reminder for me that if you work hard you will achieve anything. And Audrey achieved so much in her lifetime, her legacy will live on forever and I will always continue to keep it alive. From one Audrey Hepburn fan to another, remember her on this special day, she will always hold a place in my heart. She truly was a real life angel.

My One Year Blogiversary

♡ Today I am celebrating 𝒶𝒾𝓂𝑒𝑒𝒹𝒶𝓇𝓁𝒾𝓃𝑔𝓈 1st blogiversary...Icant believe how quickly it has gone. I remember debating on whether I wanted to do this for so long as I was scared of what other people thought. With the help of my teacher and my family I decided to just go for it, writing is my passion, it’s how I express myself so why should I let other peoples opinions stop me. It’s the best thing I’ve done. It’s what’s helped me when I couldn’t find the words to speak, instead I would write it down. From the very start, and still to this day, my intention has always been to help people who are going through similar things I have struggled with for years, something I am extremely passionate about which is mental health. I won’t lie about it but there have been days I wanted to quit and I got into a bad habit of comparing myself to other bloggers as I thought I wasn’t good enough. But this is something I struggle with anyway in person. Comparing. But I’m only human and we are all on a journey. I joined groups of others bloggers and soon after I just felt inspired, motivated and determined to not let my insecurity control me. I want to make my blog successful and for it to reach so many more people in order to help them. But I want everyone to know there is a difference between success and greed and personally for me it’s never been just about statistics for me, I wanted a platform which I could share my life not only to help others but to help myself, as something to look back on in the future and to read what I’ve achieved. Looking back on my posts, there have been some amazing things. 

I’ve spoken to so many people in the past year and heard some amazing stories from such strong individuals. But at the heart of it all is my family. Without their support, guidance and love I wouldn’t be here today. There’s not enough words in the world to thank them. 

I’m also still learning about the blogging community and I’m starting to widen the topics that I write about including reading recommendations, which is another hobby I very much enjoy. As some already know, in September I will be starting University and I will be studying Creative Writing to pursue my dream of becoming a writer. A sentence I never thought I would say four years ago when I was in a very dark place. Every day is a struggle but I have achieved so much and I’ve always found it a struggle to say these words but I am proud of myself. I’m still here and standing. 

If you’re reading this now and you’ve been here since day one, thank you from the bottom of my heart. Writing is my passion and I want to share it with people. I am excited to learn more, to achieve more and to help more. Thank you all for staying with me and I hope you continue to do so. 

Here’s to another year and many more...

𝒜𝒾𝓂𝑒𝑒

♡ My 18th Birthday ♡

Dear Darlings,

Today is a special post. It's my 18th birthday ♡

Even just writing that sentence makes my heart so happy, 13 year old me would have been terrified knowing I would make it to this day because at the time I didn't even think I could make it to the next day never mind another 5 years. But I did it and I am so proud of myself. I write this as today is my day to reflect on my life, on how far I've come and the person I'm becoming. And my god I am so proud of her. You did it.

I never imagined my 18th birthday to be spent in quarantine, but despite the circumstances, it has been such a lovely day. I've spent it surrounded by my family who has showered me with love. The most unexpected things can happen yet we make the best out of the situation and this is why this day will be memorable and a story to tell in the future. I feel so blessed that I made it to see this day as it's such a huge change in my life. I'm now an adult and soon a university student! I never thought this would happen.

      

It’s the first birthday that I can’t spend with my family and I am so upset as I can’t see my Nan but I can’t thank everyone enough for my presents and their birthday messages. I have been completely spoilt. My mum and dad have above and beyond and have made my birthday so special even under these circumstances. My lovely friend Linda, thank you for making me the happiest by getting me a Tiffany and Co necklace. I am completely in love with it. Thank you to to Kelly who made my cake and cupcakes, I’m gutted it’s not a Tiffany cake but you have done amazing and I am so happy with it.

    

I’ve reached a milestone and I’m so proud of myself. Here’s to adulthood and a new chapter in my life. I wish you all well.

Happy birthday to me.

Aimee.

Happiest Heavenly Birthday Doris Day

Dear Darlings, 

I wanted to dedicate this post to the late Doris Day, it would have been her 98th birthday today and it is the first one she is not here for. But the sun has been shining all day so I know she is not far. A beautiful woman who I have idolised for some time now for her loving demeanour, her music, and her dedication to making others happy. She has left a wonderful legacy of pure integrity, love and kindness and she will always be in my heart. She inspires me so much with her music, the work she put into her films and her talent.

I want us to remember her for the amazing human she was. Someone who loved animals and spent her time dedicating to looking after them, and becoming an animal rights advocate. She also loved her fans and called them her friends, making sure to write to as many letters as possible. She had a heart so pure and kind and is one of the many reasons why she was loved by millions.

In memory of Doris Day, the DDAF have posted this beautiful, unseen video footage. (Click on picture to go to video).

Thank you Ms Day for the memories of your exquisite talent and your selfless, countless contributions to society during your time. You made the world such a better place and you will forever be missed, always.

Happy birthday.

Coping During Quarantine

Dear Darlings, 

Since the declaration of the outbreak of COVID-19 (Coronavirus disease), the world is in a panic and people are living in fear of uncertainty and being bombarded by the constant news about the pandemic. Everyone is going through the same thing and being concerned about this virus is understandable, but for many people suffering from mental health problems, it can worsen their mental state.

It is affecting everyone in different ways and no matter what you're upset over, it isn't invalid and you have a right to be sad. But please, don't let it consume you. Since the outbreak, my college is closed and my A-Levels, which I have worked so hard for over the past two years, has been cancelled. My 18th birthday is coming up and my plans aren't going ahead. I miss my family and the situation overall has worsened my mental health. It is really upsetting that I have spent so many nights working hard, even had sleepless nights, stressed, cried, put so much effort into these exams and now they're cancelled and I don't need to be in college anymore. It was very abrupt so of course, it has taken a toll on my mind as I am completely out of routine. But I know that it wasn't a waste. College got me out of a very dark place and I gained confidence in going out again, walking on my own and being in a classroom surrounded by a fear I had kept to myself for so long. People. As soon as it was announced I went into complete panic mode, I couldn't sleep and I would be pacing my house at 4 in the morning, my heart pounding, I couldn't stop fidgeting, my legs were like jelly and I felt like I was going crazy. And then I thought of my great-nan and my nan, who both suffer from health problems, and how I wouldn't be able to see them and the fear of the unknown of when I was next going to see them has been killing me.

Thoughts have been racing through my head non-stop, going at 100mph and I haven't been able to stop them. How am I going to cope for weeks in the house? When am I next going to see my family? What if I can't do this? What's the point? These have consumed me. I know what self-isolating does to my mind, it has destroyed me. I've went days, even weeks not wanting to speak to anyone or leave the house and what helped me was getting out the house. And the fact that I can't do that is terrifying to me. The thought of being in my bedroom, suffering from my own thoughts, is so scary and this is when I'm at most risk of relapsing.

So, I started writing a plan of things I could do to occupy myself, to give myself some sort of routine. It's the best that I can do as this situation is completely out of my control and there is nothing I can do. I have spoken to many people and this has helped me understand I am not alone. I want to tell you, the one who is reading this who is struggling, that you are NOT alone. We are all in this together and helping each other is the best thing we can do.

The government is telling us to stay at home and to wash our hands regularly. I can't express this enough, please stay inside. Do the same as me, create a new daily routine that priorities looking after yourself or trying something new. Whether that's reading, trying a new instrument, finding a new hobby like drawing etc. Whatever it is, use this time wisely. Find yourself. Learn who you are. Do you like mornings or at night? Do you enjoy the sun rising or the sunset? It can be anything, no matter how little the things are, find out what you like. Facetime family and friends. Meditate. Become more spiritual. Help people. Try yoga. Binge-watch your favourite series for the 10th time. Watch that new film you have wanted to for so long but never had the time. Listen to new music. (Judy Garland and Doris Day's music have really helped me get through this, and I promise it will put a smile on your face) Hug those around you.  Look out the window and appreciate the flowers, the sky, even just the ability to see what's outside and know that you are breathing and you are alive. Appreciate these little moments. This is what will get you through this awful time and remember, this is temporary, this will all be over soon and when it does we will appreciate life so much more. We will hug people more. We will not take for granted even just walking outside and greeting new people. Once this pain is over, we will have been a very valuable life lesson, to never take those little things for granted ever again. And if you ever need to talk, message me (Instagram @_aimeedarling_ or email me, aimeebryanxoxo@gmail.com)

Please, stay indoors. Take care of yourself. Stay safe.

Aimee